The Tale of the Spider

Spiders and me, we have a mutual agreement; I like to think we do anyways. Apparently after this incident, I guess I'm the only one who has an agreement with myself.
I don't touch them and they don't touch me. 
Life is happy. 
Cross that barrier and its time to kill! *as my brother, Sam, would say.*

THE BARRIER WAS CROSSED.

It was a regular night, I was sitting on my bed listening to my jam when I felt something on my leg.  I sorta glance down and see this crawling up my leg about to go up my capris.

Of course I didn't take a picture of it on my leg! Who do you think I am? Wonder Woman??
 

 

O MY GOODNESS!!!-which is exactly what I said at that time in a high pitch voice.  Freaking out, I start violently shaking my leg.  I'm not quite what I would've done if it hadn't fallen off and continue to crawl up my leg. 

Nevertheless, the arachnid fell off.  Much to my close to passing out ,having a heart attack self.(actually I've never have passed out so I don't know how that feels, or a heart attack for that matter)   

 

There it lay on my bed daring to crawl on it.

 

I picked up a rubber mallet to squish it.

Rubber mallet and a spring mattress.

Yeah, no progress was made.  I'm surprised it didn't bounce back up and hit me in the face.Seeing that this combo wasn't working I scraped off the vermin with the mallet onto the floor then squished it. 

All that laid there was 8 flinching legs and a flat as a pancake body.

But...

There still wasn't peace. 

So... I searched the whole bed.  Carefully.  I didn't find anything, but every night now before I get into bed, I check. 



 

The ole machine in the noggin runs slow sometimes, but "Spider" registers pretty quick.  Thank goodness for that.